Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
