508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize