sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
