I accidentally burped into my bong.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
