HIV tests are more positive than that guy
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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