He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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