The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I need a beard to bite.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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