it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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