the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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