If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
