I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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