Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft http://tfl.nu/ob1j
  Replies (26) Good night (1078) Bad night (4602)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair" http://tfl.nu/ia2j
  Replies (21) Good night (722) Bad night (6224)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility. http://tfl.nu/agqx
  Replies (39) Good night (1522) Bad night (4437)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE http://tfl.nu/5phb
  Replies (185) Good night (52795) Bad night (2724)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops. http://tfl.nu/sp9a
  Replies (10) Good night (5920) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots? http://tfl.nu/1jdo
  Replies (8) Good night (1872) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe http://tfl.nu/uw0b
  Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels http://tfl.nu/dxhw
  Replies (12) Good night (1095) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings... (610): And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually. http://tfl.nu/lwux
  Replies (3) Good night (1478) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride. http://tfl.nu/s0ye
  Replies (1) Good night (503) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality. http://tfl.nu/86pw
  Replies (4) Good night (967) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?

  (650): View more from California

  There is so much wrong with that sentence

  (707): View more from California

  Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom? (650): There is so much wrong with that sentence (707): Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real http://tfl.nu/wzrt
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (928): My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left. http://tfl.nu/85y4
  Replies (2) Good night (536) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk. http://tfl.nu/g15a
  Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me. http://tfl.nu/oqrx
  Replies (0) Good night (103) Bad night (227)

Randomize