he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
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Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it