What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
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Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.