In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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