he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
