i think my mom watched the whole time
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
