I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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