My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
