i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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