oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize