Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
