got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
