..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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