"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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