I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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