omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
