walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
