i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize