I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
