still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
