hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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