Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
