Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"