Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.