I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.