im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences