I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
