Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
