What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
