I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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