some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
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Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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