do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
