i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize