Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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