can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
