His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
either way he was missing a nipple.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
