so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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