Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
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That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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