oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
