For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
tell me about the eggs
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
