Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
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Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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