literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize