Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
