Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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