After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
