The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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