ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
