Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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