It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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