Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
