I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
