the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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