we're blogging at a bar
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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