You just made me feel so damn special
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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