I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
